Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Stem Cell Compromise

Mark Graber

Seems to me that the perfect compromise that might resolve the stem cell controversy is for the scientific community to agree to do research only on embryos that could possibly mature into terrorists. After all, our president who so emphasizes morality believes there is nothing immoral about torturing persons who are suspected of being terrorists, even in the absence of any legal procedure that even confirms the suspicions are reasonable (much less a legal procedure which convicts them of any crime). Our president who so emphasizes morality also finds nothing immoral about killing innocent civilians and children in military missions that also kill a certain number of terrorists. If we can torture and kill people suspected of terrorism or people who live near people suspected of terrorism, then surely we ought to be allowed to experiment on embryos that we suspect might have become terrorists.


how about if we experiment on embryos that we suspect may become politicians...

Brilliant! It's a natural solution, and indeed the only response when considered in terms of Dick Cheney's "one percent doctrine": if even a one percent chance exists that an embryo will grow up to be a terrorist, we must treat it as a certainty in terms of our response! If we don't do stem-cell research, the terrorists will win!

If an embryo is a person, shouldn't age start with the creation of the embryo rather than at birth? How might Constitutional age limitations apply, say, to an embryo created in year 2000, but not implanted until 2010 when birth also occurs? Might we have congressmen, Presidents whose birth years are less than the years specified in the Constitution?

Since in all US states the age on the driver's license is based on the date of birth and not conception, would that mean that you're not legally recognized by the state until you're born?

In contrast, in China its commonplace to state one's age as a year older than what it would be based in birthdate, to account for time spent in the womb.

Wouldn't it just be easier to declare that all of the research embryos were enemy combatants? That way there would be no questions concerning their personhood that could not be swiftly ended by a military tribunal.

Enemy combatants is the perfect analogy. That way they can legally be detained in the frozen containers indefinitely without any legal recourse.

Brilliant! Embryonic research as part of the 1% solution. With Cheney on your side, how can you fail?

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The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.
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