Balkinization: An alternative for VP

An alternative for VP

Mark Graber

John McCain may have declared his preference for Sarah Palin, but a vote must still be taken. An alternative candidate has throw her hat into the ring. My mother. Her self-described qualifications are below [my notes are in brackets]. If you believe she is at least as qualified for the vice-presidency as Sarah Palin, please contact members of the Republican National Committee.

I have just been skimming through Balkin, and I am really mad! I have had a passport since 1968, have travelled through Western and Eastern Europe, through parts of Asia, Africa, the Middle East, South and Central America, Canada, and the United States. Sarah Palin got a passport last year!
I have a B.S. in Education, a MSW, and an ED.D [the last two degrees are from Columbia--Mom also comes from a working class family and had to work her way through college]. I have a long history of work in educational, community and governmental agencies. In addition, I have taught on a graduate level and continue to teach social work interns.
On a personal level, I have raised three sons, gone to innumerable chess matches, debates, little league games, track meets, basketball games, cub scout activities.band concerts. parent-teacher meetings, (I left school board debates to your father!), etc. I have been an active grandmother, and in that capacity ,have attended dance recitals, more concerts, fencing matches, wrestling matches, rock concerts, and graduations.
I am a decent lecturer and seem to be a valued docent at the Museum at Eldridge Street. I am a volunteer in the Mental Health Players and wrote one of their most popular playlets. I have not only taught courses in Social Work, but I have taught for the Adelphi School of Nursing in their Gerontology Certificate Program. In fact, I developed several of their courses with Edie Bigman. For Adelphi's Senior Connection Program I lectured on Issues of Aging with works of literature as the basis of discussion. In short, I can talk to people!
Now, I ask you, with my credentials, why have I not been tapped for a vice-presidential spot? I realize that I can neither dance nor sing, but I assume that could be overlooked. I can only assume that this is a blatant case of ageism. Can you advise me on what my next steps could be to resolve my problem. With love, Mom

Posted 9:10 PM by Mark Graber [link]

Comments:

so that all can continue to be apprised of the full extent of family involvement in such a vital decision for the good of the country, in answer to the ultimate question of what our mother can do further to be considered vice-presidential timbre, i have suggested to her that she learn to play the banjo. my wife has suggested, taking her cue from ralph reed, that mom go out and shoot a moose. i would note that up to this moment in time, at least to my knowledge, mom has done neither.

# posted by

phg : 9:31 PM

Is this a serious post? I can name dozens of woman whose qualifications for VP dwarf your own. What can you say sets you apart from the hundreds of well educated, dedicated mothers and grandmothers out there? Having a passport and giving lectures in social work are great, but they do nothing to justify your possibly leading this nation. At least Palin is a bulldog...

# posted by

Phil : 9:34 PM

I concur with phg's wife. Mr. Graber's mother's resume is woefully short in essential moose-shooting experience.

Additionally: she doesn't appear to have been in Alaska, which is (apparently) so close to Russia as to give all residents immense foreign policy experience.

# posted by

S.G.E.W. : 9:55 PM

And your mother is a governor of what state?

# posted by

Stuart Buck : 9:59 PM

I don't see squat there about policy preferences, and what you plan to DO with all those qualifications is, of course, the most important qualification of all.

# posted by

Brett : 10:02 PM

I think that there are some of you here that are completely missing the point. The point is there was a decision made which was as well supported as it was thought out. I believe that the OP was outlining the fact that there are plenty of better qualified candidates across the nation than Gov. Palin. I would like to believe that, with people as smart as yourselves (or as smart as you claim to be), that you would understand the ideas behind the original statement. It's easy to attack someone's ideas; the hard part is in the attempt to understand his/her point of view.

# posted by

LI Watch : 10:10 PM

And your mother is a governor of what state?

Really. It's like these liberals think Alaska isn't a real state or something. She's underqualified, sure, but not woefully so.

# posted by

Asher : 10:15 PM

for those who continued to be enthralled by the prospect of mom becoming vice-president, i note the following:

as of this posting, mom has rejected the idea of learning to play the banjo. she has, however, offered that she will consider my wife's suggestion of shooting a moose.

for those who wonder how serious the post is, i would imagine that mom, is preparing her "if nominated i will not run, if elected i will not serve speech"; however, knowing her history of caring and giving for the community, if convinced that the country really needs the first female jewish septagenarian vice-president, she just might do it, even with mccain as her running mate.

# posted by

phg : 10:16 PM

she has, however, offered that she will consider my wife's suggestion of shooting a moose.

I warn you right now that if she shoots Bullwinkle, she's lost my vote.

# posted by

Mark Field : 10:37 PM

Moose and Squirrel must die...

# posted by

LI Watch : 10:41 PM

I can see that no one discussing Palin's qualifications actually has experience with moose. Shooting a moose is not the hard part. Moose are big. It's like shooting the barn wall. The hard part is skinning and butchering the moose and hauling it all home. (An adult male moose weighs roughly 1000 pounds.) Then of course you have to tan and smoke the skin.

# posted by

Bill : 10:55 PM

Does your mom believe that the earth is 6,000 years old and that Jesus rode around on a dinosaur? The rest is really irrelevant.

It would be an added bonus if she home-schooled you after not aborting you, as well.

# posted by

zod : 10:58 PM

billposer's admonition considered, i would concede that mom would not be likely to consider skinning, butchering, hauling, tanning and smoking the moose; therefore, in the spirit of all things political and in the most vital interests of our country, i hereby offer to chair a search committe to put together the finest moose skinning, butchering, hauling, tanning and smoking team in the country. we will leave no stone unturned in order to come up with the finest team. mom is willing share some credit once our prey is brought in. i would note that in the spirit of li watch, i am suggesting, however, that mom start by trying her technique out on a squirrel.

# posted by

phg : 11:02 PM

Philosoraptor.blogspot.com makes essentially the same point, but funnier; this is just the beginning of the post:

Ham Sandwich McCain's Actual Choice for Veep

John McCain has revealed that his apparent choice of Sarah Palin as his Vice Presidential running-mate was, as many observers predicted, a carefully-staged hoax. "Yeah, right," McCain campaign manager Rick Davis said of Palin, laughing with reporters. "As if! What do we look like, a bunch of complete lackwits? You guys will believe anything."

McCain's actual running mate will be a ham sandwich.

The sandwich, said by analysts to be "a little light on the ham," has never held any public office and is incapable of speech or rational thought. It is thought that the choice will solidify McCain's credentials as a "maverick."

# posted by

Henry : 11:55 PM

Isn't a "maverick" running for President under the banner of the Republican party an oxymoron?

Webster's New World Dictionary:

"maverick 2 [Colloq.] a person who takes an independent stand, as in politics, refusing to conform to that of a party or group."

Will McCain refuse to abide by the platform of the Republican convention? If McCain supports George W. Bush's Administration over 90% of the time, how is that a maverick? Or maybe George W is a maverick.

So far McCain's campaign is branded: "POW, right in the kisser!" all the time.

Not to get too catty, but doesn't Gov. Palin's presence accentuate Cindy's procedures? Maybe Palin wears glasses instead of contacts to look more matronly than Cindy. Meow.

And thank goodness McCain (plus Palin) was not needed to go to New Orleans to put his finger in the dike and save the city.

# posted by

Shag from Brookline : 6:13 AM

"Will McCain refuse to abide by the platform of the Republican convention?"

I've heard rumors they're watering it down for him on the points like enforcing imigration laws, where he's at odds with other Republicans. You know, the parts that the party big-wigs don't really care about anyway, and just included as a sop to the actual members?

# posted by

Brett : 7:01 AM

Will watering down the Republican platform cause it to blossom or drown? After all, there are Republican principals [sic] to uphold.

# posted by

Shag from Brookline : 8:07 AM

"The Amazing Mrs Pritchard" is a British mini-series (available on DVD). A plot summary:

"The story follows Mrs Ros Pritchard, a successful manager of a supermarket. When a couple of politicians make a spectacle of themselves outside her shop, Ros decides to stand for election herself, just to prove that she could do better. Her story grips the nation and eight weeks later no one is more surprised than Ros herself when she wins the General Election and becomes the next Prime Minister."

Hillary fans will also be happy to know that her government is run by women (i.e., the Cabinet appears to be all women). It is recommended, if flawed toward the ends. Perfect election fare, and pretty well acted too. Janet McTeer is very good as a disgruntled conservative who joins her team.

# posted by

Joe : 8:42 AM