Balkinization  

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Top Ten Replacements for Gonzales

Mark Graber

Before joining the chorus urging Attorney General Gonzales to resign, I thought that as a public service (and excuse to avoid grading yesterday's midterm) a listing of the top ten replacements might be useful.

1. John Ashcroft--been there, done that.

2. Kenneth Starr--special expertise in prosecuting Democrats.

3. Robert Bork--special expertise in firing prosecutors.

4. Clarence Thomas--Attorney General provides more opportunities than the Supreme Court for seeking vengeance.

5. John Yoo--already busy at work explaining why during a time of crisis (as defined by the President) the president has unreviewable discretion to suspend the 22nd amendment and determine the victors in all elections.

6. Harriett Miers--recent memos designed to make liberals feel better about Alito being on the Supreme Court.

7. Oliver North--more experienced than present incumbent at running rogue operations.

8. G. Gordon Liddy--was miffed at not being invited to other Nixon Administration Reunion events sponsored by the Bush Administration.

9. Ann Coulter--another instance where the Bush administration finds a job for a soon to be underemployed conservative.

10. Osama Bin Laden--if Dinesh D'Souza is right, shares Bush administration's conservative family values. Certainly agrees with Bush administration on the morality of using torture against declared enemies.

Comments:

This is hilarious.
 

Ted Olson really ought to be on the All-Star GOP Hacks team, too.
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

matthew beat me to it, although I fear that Olson could actually be nominated.
 

Wahh? Jonah Goldberg is surpassed by very few in eloquence & integrity in defense of Bushitism.
 

Quite honestly, this is one of the more uninspired posts I've seen on Balkinization. Professor Graber is capable of much sharper and much more sardonic material.

"Osama bin Laden"? Really.
 

Hey, Chase: Graber was kidding about Coulter and Liddy, too.
 

"1. John Ashcroft--been there, done that."

And aside from his rather amusing public show of being religious, it wasn't that bad of an experience, so far as I can tell.
 

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