E-mail:
Jack Balkin: jackbalkin at yahoo.com
Bruce Ackerman bruce.ackerman at yale.edu
Ian Ayres ian.ayres at yale.edu
Corey Brettschneider corey_brettschneider at brown.edu
Mary Dudziak mary.l.dudziak at emory.edu
Joey Fishkin joey.fishkin at gmail.com
Heather Gerken heather.gerken at yale.edu
Abbe Gluck abbe.gluck at yale.edu
Mark Graber mgraber at law.umaryland.edu
Stephen Griffin sgriffin at tulane.edu
Jonathan Hafetz jonathan.hafetz at shu.edu
Jeremy Kessler jkessler at law.columbia.edu
Andrew Koppelman akoppelman at law.northwestern.edu
Marty Lederman msl46 at law.georgetown.edu
Sanford Levinson slevinson at law.utexas.edu
David Luban david.luban at gmail.com
Gerard Magliocca gmaglioc at iupui.edu
Jason Mazzone mazzonej at illinois.edu
Linda McClain lmcclain at bu.edu
John Mikhail mikhail at law.georgetown.edu
Frank Pasquale pasquale.frank at gmail.com
Nate Persily npersily at gmail.com
Michael Stokes Paulsen michaelstokespaulsen at gmail.com
Deborah Pearlstein dpearlst at yu.edu
Rick Pildes rick.pildes at nyu.edu
David Pozen dpozen at law.columbia.edu
Richard Primus raprimus at umich.edu
K. Sabeel Rahmansabeel.rahman at brooklaw.edu
Alice Ristroph alice.ristroph at shu.edu
Neil Siegel siegel at law.duke.edu
David Super david.super at law.georgetown.edu
Brian Tamanaha btamanaha at wulaw.wustl.edu
Nelson Tebbe nelson.tebbe at brooklaw.edu
Mark Tushnet mtushnet at law.harvard.edu
Adam Winkler winkler at ucla.edu
Washington, D.C. (BP)-- As the election nears, all eyes are on the key group of voters who will decide who becomes President of the United States-- the nine members of the United States Supreme Court.
"In 2000 we discovered that regular voters are just plain stupid," Justice Anthony Kennedy explained. "Too many of them kept voting for the wrong person. As a result, it's become our unsought duty, every four years, to decide who becomes president."
"Having the Supreme Court pick the president is completely consistent with the original intentions of the Framers," Justice Antonin Scalia declared. "The Electoral College was created because the Framers didn't want the president picked by the hoi polloi. They wanted the president picked by elites. Well, there ain't nobody more elite than us, baby!"
As the election nears, questions still remain about the Justices' votes. Will Chief Justice Rehnquist be well enough to make it to the polls? Will Sandra Day O'Connor, the Court's swing Justice, vote for Bush as she did in 2000, or will Bush's fiscal policies cause her to stay home?
Polling of the Justices has been extremely haphazard because of the small sample size, but pollsters are confident that their work is scientifically sound. The latest Gallup poll, for example, shows a decisive 5-4 vote for Bush with a margin of error of plus or minus 9.
Of particular concern is the fact that Justice Clarence Thomas, the Court's youngest member, may not be easy to poll because he owns a cell phone. But a spokesman for the Gallup organization was unconcerned about the Thomas factor: "Because he's a minority, he probably won't get to vote anyway."
Still other pundits were worried about the effect of the recent tape from Osama Bin Laden. "They needn't worry," Justice Kennedy explained. "Osama Bin Laden is not going to decide who becomes the next president. That's *our* job."
This might actually be funny if it wasn't so damned true. Did you happen to read the Vanity Fair article on SCOTUS' role in the 2000 election? What's your take on law clerks gone wild? Did they do the right thing by talking to reporters about what went on behind chamber doors?