Hoax or Real? "Intelligent Falling"

The Onion reports that "Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory" (thanks to Leiter Reports for pointer). Here are excerpts:

KANSAS CITY, KS—As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.

Rev. Gabriel Burdett (left) explains Intelligent Falling.
"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.

....

The ECFR, in conjunction with the Christian Coalition and other Christian conservative action groups, is calling for public-school curriculums to give equal time to the Intelligent Falling theory. They insist they are not asking that the theory of gravity be banned from schools, but only that students be offered both sides of the issue "so they can make an informed decision."

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Proponents of Intelligent Falling assert that the different theories used by secular physicists to explain gravity are not internally consistent. Even critics of Intelligent Falling admit that Einstein's ideas about gravity are mathematically irreconcilable with quantum mechanics. This fact, Intelligent Falling proponents say, proves that gravity is a theory in crisis.

...

"Traditional scientists admit that they cannot explain how gravitation is supposed to work," Carson said. "What the gravity-agenda scientists need to realize is that 'gravity waves' and 'gravitons' are just secular words for 'God can do whatever He wants.'"

...

Ha! Ha! Ha! Great hoax, Onion...this is a hoax, right?

The scary thing about this hoax is that many people (especially folks who don't know what Onion is about) won't recognize it as such. It works as a hoax because this is the same reasoning operating in the challenge to Darwinism.

Cultural conservatives harp ad nauseam on the decline of our culture (sex, drugs, and rap and hip hop). The're right, but are obsessing on the wrong things. We are witnessing the decline of knowledge, in this weary late modern age. It's not just that our kids learn less in schools (as report after report confirm). In more and more contexts--from our political leaders to our school boards--our culture has become soft and fuzzy on the idea that factual, verifiable truths exist and matter (see Jack's earlier post on rejecting Enlightenment values).

The Left bears a good deal of the blame for this. Interpretivism, social constructionism, holism, pragmatism, postmodernism and all those other leftist academic ideas (pardon my irresistable sarcasm), have been taken (wrongly) to suggest that science is just another point of view with no priority or particular authority over any other. Into this wide open door come striding religious fundamentalists who insist they know the ultimate truths.

The next thing you know, they will be coming up with some idea like gravity is an illusion and it's really God micro-managing intelligent falling. And no doubt many people will believe them. Gravity can't explain how angels can fly, so it must be wrong.

All of the above "isms" are sound, in my view, but none of them in the least undermine the validity and importance of science in the way casual interpreters seem to believe. We had better starting emphasizing this. The Left has always lacked the resources of the Right. It's most effective weapon has been--to put it in a 60's kind of way--speaking truth to power.