That Crazy Osama

Osama bin Laden issued a taped message on Friday making fun of Bush and warning of more terror attacks if the United States doesn't change course.

Hmm, I guess that means that Osama wants to tilt the election to Kerry by showing that Bush is incompetent and by scaring us with future threats of terrorist attacks.

Unless he's *really* trying to tilt the election toward Bush, because he figures that the public will naturally come to Bush's side if it sees that Osama is criticizing him.

Unless that's what Osama *wants* us to think! Maybe he thinks that we'll easily see through that ruse-- attacking Bush to push us toward Bush, and so we'll move to Kerry just to spite Osama, which is exactly what Osama wanted all along!

Of course, maybe *that's* just what Osama wants us to think. By criticizing Bush, we'll realize that he really wants to support Kerry, but we'll see through his game and support Bush instead, which is in fact just what Osama wanted all along!

Hmmmm. This is just too difficult. Maybe we should just ignore the bastard and vote for whoever we damn well please.