Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? To Get To the Other Side!

Bush's Top Ten Answers to the Question: "Why are you and Vice President Cheney insisting on appearing jointly before the 9-11 Commission?"

(from last night's press conference).

10. "Because the 9-11 commission wants to ask us questions, that's why we're meeting."

9. "And I look forward to meeting with them and answering their questions."

8. "Because it's a good chance for both of us to answer questions that the 9-11 commission is looking forward to asking us."

7."And I'm looking forward to answering them."

6. Because they want to ask us questions, see?

5. We can't answer the questions unless we appear before them.

4. What part of "so we can answer their questions" don't you understand? Are you, like, stupid or something?

3. OK. Let me put this real simple. They-- that's the 9-11 commission-- have QUESTIONS. You get it? Q-U-E-S-T-I-O-N-S. And we-- that's Dick Cheney and I-- we want to ANSWER them.

2. Maybe you don't speak English. OK, mi amigo. Tienen las preguntas y tenemos las respuestas!

1. Next Question.

The Real Top Ten Reasons Why Bush Insists On Appearing With Vice-President Cheney Before the 9-11 Commission

10. We're a team: He gives me bad advice, and I follow it!

9. I tend to fall asleep in meetings longer than twenty minutes.

8. He knows the name of that Arab guy.

7. I tend to lose my train of thought in answering long complicated questions.... What were you asking again?

6. Condi couldn't make it.

5. He's read a lot of long reports, some of them are over three pages long!

4. You'd better not be mean to me, because my Vice-President can beat up your Vice-President!

3. I have a bad sense of direction and I might not be able to find the conference room by myself.

2. The dog ate my homework.

1. He's a *much* better liar than I am.